Stay at home moms are rockstars, homemakers, housewives, teachers, nurturers, negotiators, advisers, chauffeurs, activity coordinators, sleep scientists, personal shoppers, safety administrators, and my personal favorites; milk supplier and personal chef snack bitch. Going in to my pregnancy I knew that motherhood wasn’t going to be easy but I was determined to be a work away from home mama. I wanted to have that “getaway” everyday. At the time I was so sure I was going to lose my independence if I stayed home it’s not that I thought other SAHM’s aren’t independent I just hadn’t depended on someone else’s income since I moved out of my parents house. I was wrong though, I went back to work 8 weeks after having A and thought I was going to stay home forever after that first day. I did go back, for 2 months and it was really hard. I had to learn A LOT of time management tricks and my husband was a fucking superstar. During my pregnancy T told me he wanted to go back to school so we finally talked to my mom about helping us with A so I could still work and T could further his education. We came to find out that his schooling would be full time and there weren’t any other options for shorter class days or anything. This meant he was going to be gone just as long as I was for work (10 hours everyday!). We couldn’t ask nor did we want to ask my mom to pretty much raise our daughter so I quit my job. While heartbroken I didn’t realize that this was my saving grace. I am THRIVING being able to be with my girl all day everyday is exciting and fun and INSPIRING! (Did I mention I’m starting my own business (;) That doesn’t mean there aren’t hard days, plenty of times I have cried my way through half the morning BUT that is why I am writing this little Survival Guide to hopefully help you mamas with my trial and error way of figuring things out. Now that you’re tired of my life story the actual tips and tricks:
- Take Care of YOURSELF: I mean it. If you are overwhelmed or just need a little bit of space or a manicure make the time to get it done. Ask someone to watch the baby whether it be your husband, mom, cousin, sibling, whoever and do something for yourself at the very least once a week. You should probably do it once a day though even if it’s something simple like making sure you get to eat at least one of your meals warm or doing your makeup. One thing I really struggled with was making sure I got dressed every morning. Most of the time I would wait until mid afternoon (ain’t no shame in being a bit lazy sometimes!) but as soon as I started getting dressed every morning my whole outlook on the day would change. If you aren’t sure if you just have the postpartum blues or postpartum depression and can’t find someone to help you I will help you find someone so you can talk to a professional. Mental health is SO IMPORTANT mamas.
- Make a daily plan: I like to write out my to do list or plan on my fridge with dry erase marker the night before. If I forget I will make a note in my phone’s memo pad. It really helps to know what you need to do during the day otherwise I will sit around on facebook when A is napping! I always try to include my daily cleaning in my to do list you can check out the schedule I follow HERE.
- Get out of the house: When you make your daily plan (Or weekly if you’re an over achiever) make sure you try to plan some form of getting out of the house. Whether you go for a walk, take the dog out to play or go to the grocery store or post office, getting out of the house SAVES YOUR SANITY!
- Start a new hobby or pick up your existing one: this can fall under the taking care of yourself category as well but you need YOU time too. I LOVE crafts of all kinds and definitely try to get at least an hour or two in a week. You could start a new series of books, a television show, knitting or crocheting, sewing, writing, etc. There are lots of things out there find something you are really passionate about and do it.
- Don’t obsess about cleaning house: I’m not saying let your house get super disgusting but sometimes you just can’t do the dishes until your husband gets home or you gotta leave your laundry in the basket another day. It is OKAY to take a break from things that really start to stress you out. Some days A is really clingy and just wants to be held or have me close by when she plays so instead of getting frustrated that I can’t keep up with the housework I have been TRYING to learn to let it go and get to it when T gets home. He has to tell me to stop apologizing all the time because I’m such a worry wart I think he is gonna be mad I didn’t get anything done. Y’all should try too. It has been like a breath of fresh air. (Side note for cleaning: we invested in a good size play yard and just leave most of her toys in it so we don’t have to pick them up every day. A small toy box in your living room could be helpful too!)
- Make time for yourself. I really can’t stress this enough. I said I am thriving being a SAHM and that is because I actually have to make time for myself now, like I schedule it and everything. YOU NEED TO DO THIS TOO!
- Make time for your significant other(SO). T and I have had a few days where we just aren’t on the same wavelengths and our communication skills are below the norm. We notice and right away we talk it out or hug it out (the power of a long hug is real y’all). We also recently decided no technology at the table and we do plan out date nights usually asking one of my sisters to babysit. (Thanks M&K I love you!)
- Let your SO help. A just went through a little phase where she only wanted mama when she was super tired. That really was trying for me and hard on T. So we started having him do more of the nighttime routine stuff alone. He would do her bath and pajamas and some one on one playtime just the two of them. So mama’s even if your baby is already about your SO have them do some more one on one so you can get a little break even if that means you make lunch for tomorrow or whatever works for your family. If you are already doing this AWESOME! I get a little controlling and unintentionally shut my husband out sometimes so I thought this might help other mamas (:
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