I’ve been so obsessed with how much other moms can get accomplished in a day and it just really amazes me. I mean after I got over the jealousy I thought “hey, why don’t we get to have super suits!?” Now you could say my super suit is a tank top and a pair of leggings, but I’ll be the first to tell you 6 times out of 10 I probably slept in them the night before. Sometimes nights are ROUGH and all I do the next day is chill with the baby and the dog. I have to admit it took someone I don’t talk to on a daily basis to remind me how awesome it is to be a stay at home mom. It has been so easy for me to become consumed with worrying about everyone around me. While being amazed by other moms thinking things like; “That mom works out everyday” and “man she is really rocking her breastfeeding journey” or “Why don’t I do things like that with my family? They really have it all together” I started feeling all kinds of negative about EVERYTHING else around me. I stopped seeing all the positive and good things.
“A” has been a little extra fussy lately and I was getting WORN OUT. She has always been rocked/cuddled to sleep and as she has gotten older it has taken significantly less time for her to fall asleep. Until this week. I thought she was fighting her sleep or that me holding her just was not helping her any more. I completely questioned all that has been working out for us. Am I preventing her from learning how to do things because I’m comforting her? Is she too coddled? Why won’t she stay asleep for more than 10 minutes when I’m not holding her?! I need to do the dishes damnit! Y’all would not believe how bad I was second guessing myself, well actually you probably have been there too but I was WORRIED about it all. It was brought to my attention that I was so focused on thinking what is wrong that I didn’t really see that A has also been extra drooly, she has been chewing on things more than usual and just wanted her mama because she is having a bit of teething pain. I was so consumed with myself and the other things going on I didn’t once stop to think ‘hey maybe she is GROWING like a normal 6 month old would be.’ She just wants the COMFORT of her mama’s arms a little longer while she sleeps. That was such an eye opener for me I was literally missing things I’m sitting right in front of because I don’t know how to keep the positive stuff above the negative things.
To all you mamas reading this: you are AMAZING and we all have our could have, should have, would have moments. Each mama’s journey is different and everyday I learn something new about my daughter even when I don’t have the best day. It’s a wonderful and fucking exhausting journey but it is MINE and I’m a kick ass mom whether I have a super suit or not! And guess what, SO ARE YOU!
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